In fairness, I am dressed pretty provocatively today.

Do you know what makes a woman feel really good? Whistling as she walks by and making comments about different parts of her anatomy. (Even if they’re not necessarily on show. Ie. The man in question just remarked on my ‘fanny’. Which was really nice because I’ve been feeling rather under confident about my genitals of late.)

It’s that little confidence boost us ladies need on our way back from the supermarket. Because, let’s face it, if we didn’t have men telling us how our various body parts were looking, how would we know how to feel about them?

It’s weird when women get all offended about it, because really it’s just a cheeky compliment so that the woman has a little skip in her step for the rest of the day! Lord only knows why some ladies find it intimidating. Last time I checked, getting up in someone’s personal space isn’t harassment… amiright fellas?

I’d just like to thank the charming creatures residing in my neighbourhood for making me feel so great. Without you, I would still be sobbing into my crumpets, wondering how to make myself more of a sexual object so I can get approval from this particular breed of man. Can’t believe I’ve spent so much of my life thinking I was a PERSON rather than an ornament, there to be judged. How silly of me.

I’m fully aware it’s not all men. So HEY 90% of menfolk out there, could you tell the other 10% to give it a rest?


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